So, what do all of these people have in common?

Yep, Jason and I are lonely, selfish, socially inept, and spoiled if you listen to the majority of people who repeat these stereotypes of only children as if they were facts.  I’ve never really felt offended by these misguided comments because I’ve never seen myself that way.  Was I lonely growing up?  Maybe, but because of the alone time I have a healthy imagination and know how to entertain myself.  I am never bored.  Was I socially inept growing up?  I don’t think so.  I was voted Everyone’s Best Friend and Class Flirt by my senior class, so I wasn’t a quiet wallflower.  Am I selfish?  I probably spend as much money on gifts as I do on myself and if you need something that I have I do not hesitate to give it, so I don’t think so.  Was I spoiled?  Well, it wasn’t like we had loads of money growing up, but I was spoiled with attention and love.  Is that so wrong?  Jason is also an only, but his youth was a lot different from mine.  Even so, I would never use any of these words to describe him.

So why all the judgment of the onlies?  There are a positives and negatives to being an only, just as there are to being a first born, a middle child, or the baby.  I don’t feel like I missed out by not having a sibling and I don’t understand when I hear women say they are having another child so their first child doesn’t grow up alone.  It’s like you are gifting one child to another and that seems odd to me. 

Jason and I have been blessed with a healthy baby boy and at my advanced age of 39 we’ll need to decide on whether to try for another relatively soon.  We both know the pros- more attention, higher self-esteem, more education, better grades in school and the cons- a smaller support system and the challenge of being the sole caretaker for your parents as they age.  With Jason and I both being only children we have four parents to look after in the future.  Good thing we’re a great team 🙂  Gage will never have first cousins, aunts or uncles and to rob him of siblings too is perhaps my biggest concern.

Are we doing Gage a disservice if we don’t try for more?  Absolutely not.  But it does require a different approach to parenting, one that Jason and I are completely tuned into and have a lifetime of experience with.  I found this article in TIME magazine last year about the myths of only children very interesting.

So, any other onlies out there?  Or parents of onlies?  Do you feel judged?  Was the decision to have only one an easy one?

This week Gage turned 3 months old!  People have said how fast the time has gone and I nod, but inside I’m thinking that this has been the longest three months of my life!  Three months of mothering a colicky baby takes its toll.  So, when my parents said they were  coming up for the weekend Jason and I decided to take advantage and spend our first night away from Gage. 

But where to go?  Not too far but still away and something vacation-like.  So, we ended up at Mario’s Spa & Hotel about 20 minutes away.  We kissed baby goodbye at 2pm yesterday and headed to our 3 o’clock side by side massages, after some time in the sauna.  I complimented this with a glass of wine.  Then we checked into the hotel and I went for a manicure.  Mario’s also had a great place for dinner and we took advantage.  And I indulged in more wine.  We were in bed by 8:30 and slept until 8:30 this morning.  We had breakfast brought to our room before heading off to another massage for Jason and Reflexology/Parafin Pedicure for me.  Oh, and a mimosa accompanied the pedicure.

Then we drove home feeling pampered and refreshed and ready for three more months of parenting.  How many phone calls did we make to check on Gage in the 24 hours we were gone?  Three.  But in our defense it is because he is the only one of us who has not gotten better from last week.  So, a call to the doctor in the morning and we’ll see if she can see him.

I think we both needed the mini-vacation and pampering and we were lucky enough to be able to do it.  It is easy to lose focus on each other and on yourself when a newborn demands all of your attention and it was nice to reconnect.  It was also great for me, who has spent three months being a mother to have 24 hours to be just me.  Motherhood is awesome, but a little time to focus on myself is going to make me a better mom for Gage.

Now, if I can just convince Jason that we should do this every month…

Here we are after dinner last night

This will be a short one since it is late and we are too sick here to be concerned with lengthy blog posts.  This past Wednesday the three of us here all came down with varying degrees of sick.  To date, I seem to be the only one worse off, but I’m hoping my day of sleep will pay off tomorrow with the return of my voice and a less active cough. 

Gage has also lost some of his voice.  On the plus side he chooses more carefully when he wants to cry.  On the negative side once he cries, his throat hurts and he cries louder and longer.  He needs to be held and walked constantly which would be challenging if we were healthy and since we’re not it has been an exhausting time.  I have a greater appreciation for single moms.  It has taken both Jason and I to get through this (and really we’re not through at all) and I can’t imagine trying to do it alone.  Much respect to the women who can pull it off.

We had him to the doctor on Wednesday and found out he has doubled his weight in under three months!  He’s up to 12 pounds 🙂

Here’s hoping next Sunday we’ll all be healthy!

When I heard, “It’s a boy!” from the doctor I was happy, but to be honest, it made me nervous.  What do I know about raising a boy?  At least with a girl I have some personal experience.  Then I saw him and fell in love, but I was still nervous.  At least for the 5 minutes until I watched my husband with him and I knew it would be all right.  Jason has been such a rock in this emotional journey of parenting.  When he gets home from work he wants him immediately and he’s disappointed if he’s just missed feeding time.  He changes dirty diapers with no complaints and he’s even quicker at changing his clothes than I am.

But it’s when I see Gage studying his Daddy that melts my heart.  Gage is not a smiley baby and his Daddy is the beneficiary of the majority of them.  Sure I’m home with him all day and up with him all night, but it’s Daddy who keeps his attention.  I read him books, but Jason sings him Old McDonald  Has a Farm and so far it’s the farmer who wins. 

Jason has green eyes and I have brown and so far Gage has blue.  They may change, probably will, but I like to think that he’s not going to be his mom or his dad, but his own boy and then man.  And if he grows up to be anything like his Dad, then some girl will be very lucky someday.  I know I am.

Last week I tried to write a post on miscarriage because it had been  about three years since I had suffered one, but wasn’t really feeling that I was saying it quite right.  I watched Lisa Ling on The View on Friday she captured everything I had wanted to say, only much more eloquently.  So, if you have a miscarriage know that it happens more than you think and that someday you can still come home with one of these…

Gage received two books from his Aunt Amy that he would like to recommend. 

The first is On the Night You Were Born by Nancy Tillman.  I did tear up when I read it to him for the first time.  It is a perfect book for a new baby and his or her Mom & Dad.  The story is all about the special qualities that make each child unique.   I love the illustrations and the message is very sweet and setimental. 

The Boss Baby by Marla Frazee is a fun book, too.  As new parents Jason and I laughed while reading this spot on story of what goes on in a house when a baby is brought home.  Perfect for a baby shower or for new parents.  The illustrations are great too, with the baby wearing a sleeper with a tie.  A very cute book!

So, do you have any suggestions for Gage?  I know I want to buy him a bag full of gifts for Christmas!

We took our first road trip with Gage to go home for Thanksgiving.  He is five weeks old and the trip was a little less than 2 and a half hours, so I was hopeful the trip would be fine.  I was more worried that the day would be too long and there would be too much noise and too many people for a happy baby.  Sometime in the last few weeks Gage has discovered that he has strong lungs and he likes to use them.  But no need to worry, he was a champ, even if he did sleep most of the time.  Here are a few pics from our four day trip…

It was a great weekend and since Gage slept with Grandma at night this mama got some extra sleep 🙂 

In these pics he’s with his great aunt Betty, Carolyn and cousin Lucy are feeding him, Grandpa is holding him between cousins Jenny and Billy who stopped by on their way back from the OSU-Michigan game, and great uncle Larry. 

And to prove he does open his eyes one more picture.   Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving!