Sundays with Gage – Time

Alone time is something I’ve always enjoyed and needed.  Growing up as an only child I am used to some quiet time to do solitary things (reading, writing…) and I thought I was prepared for that time being shared by two.  I was not.

The first few months babies do nap a lot.  A half an hour here, an hour there, so there were always a few stolen minutes to do necessary things.  Now that we  are down to two naps a day (and I think one very shortly) my alone time has shrunk.  I should admit that Gage and I co-nap so not much gets done there but a re-charge and a shower.

I appreciate when Jason comes home at 6:15 and ‘takes over’ until 8:30, but that time is not mine because we still eat dinner together, I still help with the bath and we take a family walk in that time. I take over again once Gage hits the crib around 9:30 or 10 with the baby monitor.

It takes its toll after months of the same routine with little time taken for yourself.  Being a stay-at-home mom is great but it isn’t easy to maintain your adult identity.  I heard myself mention a Gage bowel movement to a friend and knew that I had lost it.  So, I have to find ways to carve out a little time for myself.

Our community center offers babysitting for $2 an hour (the best bargain ever!) and the only requirement is that I have to stay at the center.  So far this has meant a half an hour of cardio and 15-30 minutes of reading time for me.  The first week we did this a few months ago I started to feel some sense of calm return.  We go a few times a week.

We also started going to My Gym, a rec center for babies and kids.  Last week Gage got bumped up the next age level and this one is 2 classes a week, one on Saturday mornings.  Jason has committed to this hour for guy time and I already have big, fancy plans for that one hour break.  These pics are from yesterday.  Yes, I went for the first one, just so I could take pictures!

I just met with a neighbor girl who is going to start babysitting for us. I’ve asked her to come for 2-4 hours during the week so that I might get some appointments made and shopping done, quickly sans baby.

Even these few hours a week are a huge help for my peace of mind and I know I am a better mom for it.  I never had plans to be a stay-at-home mom, but it is an adventure I’m glad I decided to sign up for.  I have less alone time, but I appreciate the hours I do get all that much more.  And I’m pretty sure that Gage enjoys the change of scenery too 🙂

25 thoughts on “Sundays with Gage – Time

  1. Heather says:

    I hear ya! My husband is super great and lets me take some girls’ nights out every week or so. Glad you are finding your stride as a stay-at-home-parent! Love the pics! I can’t believe how big he is getting!!!! Yeah for alone time and that time we get with our babes!

    • stacybuckeye says:

      Just in the past few weeks he’s spent a few minutes here and there entertaining himself or feeding himself a bottle and it’s like I see a little light at the end of the tunnel.

  2. Michelle says:

    Alone time is essential for ALL mommies, stay-at-home and working ones. It is so easy to lose ourselves among all of the needs of the family, house, and job. I always make sure I find that time, whether it is eating lunch alone, ensuring that no one comes to my hair appointments, or even getting out and walking. It sounds like you are doing a great job of finding that time to regain your sanity and maintain your sense of identity as a woman who just happens to have a baby and a husband.

  3. Kay says:

    I’m so glad to hear that you are carving out some alone time for yourself. I do understand so well. I went back to work when my girl was 7 weeks old, but I still needed a bit of a break. My husband was going to school and working full time – often didn’t get home until 10 or 11 at night. I pretty much had my girl on my own during the week. But, we had to do it. I managed somehow.

    I do have a wonderful husband though. Still do, of course, but one of the most fabulous things he did for me was to insist that I have most Friday nights to myself. His schedule allowed him to pick our girl up from her sitter on Fridays. He would take her home and do the evening with her – feeding, bathing, getting her to bed. I would leave work and do whatever. We didn’t have a lot of money, so often I just went to eat a bite or window shopped or went to a movie by myself. I got comfortable with seeing a film alone during that time. I also went to bookstores, but that was before the times of comfy chairs and coffeeshops. More like BDalton in the mall.

    Anyway, you need this time and you know, Jason needs this time with Gage as well. Without you there and just guy time. So glad to hear that you are setting things up to nurture Stacey a little bit. You will be a better mother for it. 🙂

  4. Gage's Grandma says:

    I sure wish we were closer so we could give you a needed break and spend more time with Gage. It won’t be long though. I am so proud of you and how you have worked out your plans. You definitely need solitary time. I love the picture of Jason and Gage. You two are wonderful parents!

  5. violet says:

    I grew with 2 sisters so the house was always a chaos, but that’s exactly why I learnt how important alone time is. I kind of understand where you are coming from. I’m glad you could work things out and find some time to do things for yourself

  6. Carol says:

    He’s so adorable. Those are great photos. I’m glad it sounds like you’re getting a schedule worked out with some time set aside for you. We all need some alone time.

  7. pinkflipflops says:

    I’ve yet to take the baby to the grocery store and more and more times I go by myself and see fussy kids/angry parents I think I am going to keep it this way for as long as humanely possible haha. Plus, I get at least 2 hours to myself, I can check out new books, try on clothes. and get a coffee allllll by myself. I think I would even be willing to pay a sitter for this oppurtunity ha. So far it’s either daddy time or grandma time and I go, and everyone is happy at home that they are with the baby alone.

  8. Amy says:

    I’ve never understood moms who are on (as moms) 24/7. It just makes sense to me that you need some alone time to do what you want with and some time with other adults. Nobody works 24/7 because if they did they’d be ineffective at some point.

    I’m glad you’re finding time for yourself and have a great husband who supports that!

  9. redladysreadingroom says:

    I can understand your feelings Stacy, as a stay at home mom and an older mom and having an only I went through some similar experiences. You’re doing a smart thing by getting a babysitter lined up and getting alone time. I didn’t do that in time and it took it’s toll. My Gym is a great place and it will be great for Gage developmentally…tummy time is so important. I’ve learned now as I’ve gone back to work as an Occupational Therapist in the schools that babies sleeping on their backs need their tummy time for development of fine motor skills. So, even though he may cry, get that tummy time in and make it fun..the gym is perfect. I’d love to get together sometime so hopefully we can do that soon!

  10. Margot says:

    I enjoyed reading this post Stacy. It tells me you have a very healthy approach to motherhood. Many young mothers never get to this point. They focus on everyone else and neglect taking care of themselves. I think the balance is important so I say Good for you! A good neighborhood babysitter is a valuable tool in mothering. It makes normal errands so much easier.

  11. Veens says:

    I think that your community center is awesome! I guess it would have helped me if this opportunity was available to me too. I find no time for myself too, it is difficult when when has no me-time!

    I know I don’t like it, but I know in a few months Aarya will be old enough to goto play school.

    Aarya naps sometimes twice and sometimes once. Whenever he does, I do housework, so there is no reading, no blogging and no simply wasting time.

  12. Jenners says:

    I need alone time too … and “grown up” time. It was when the Little One was little that I started feeling like I was losing myself, which is what led me to start blogging to begin with. Good for you for taking time for yourself … every mom needs it to get refreshed and recharged. Plus it is good for Gage to be with other people too!

  13. caspette says:

    That is a good idea. It gives you a much needed break. These days the only time I really get “me” time is when Im sick and little monkey is at day care.

  14. julie says:

    I think this is fantastic! I’m not a stay at home mom but I can see why you need your own time. I think everyone needs their own time. It helps calm us.

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