Last month I went to parent teacher conferences perplexed and left with the same questions I started with.  In second grade Gage was in a lower reading group (there were four and he was in the third one) and this year he’s in the top reading group and she only wants him reading 4th grade books.  Although she acknowledged that he had no interest in reading chapter books.  How many 4th grade picture books can you find? I guess it’s good she thinks he smart?  Anyhoo, we’re trying, but it’s going so slow.  For years I’ve been worried about a reading disability, but have been assured that isn’t the case, and now I’m wondering if it’s an attention problem.  They call him the wanderer since he likes to walk around the classroom when his work is done (and sometimes when it isn’t!) 🙂

All of this to say that choosing his books for his yearly advent tree took longer than normal as I tried to find the books she wanted him reading with something that might possibly keep him interested.  Also this year, I bought some like new used books as I sorted donations at the library so I was able to do this year way cheaper than in years past.  Today’s book is a Scooby Doo book and we’re halfway through (5 chapters) and he’s liking it better than most.

On the shelf below is the Lego advent calendar that is a treat for all the books he’s going to be reading, lol.

I read this article from the Washington Post yesterday and thought I’d weigh in as an only with an only.  Growing up there were times I wanted a sibling, but I rather liked my childhood and didn’t feel like I missed out on anything.  Sometimes I felt like the house was too quiet, but you don’t need a big family to fill a house with laughter.  There are times Gage tells me I need to have a brother for him (never a sister) and I do sometimes wish that was in the cards, but it’s not.  Honestly, I don’t understand the stigma attached to only children.

While families with siblings manage relationships among the siblings, we go out and forge relationships with other families, often with those that have only one kid.  Not because that’s important, but because it’s practical.  A few weeks ago we took a four day vacation with another family of three and the boys (who have already been friends for years) had a great time.  Gage and I rode with the family for the one and a half hour trip there and the boys had a blast (so much so that they carpooled with Jason to science center camp this week).  We all had a great time.

Both of these boys had challenges when they were younger and neither one would be where he is now if there had been siblings to look after also.  What I’ve been able to do for Gage health-wise never would have happened if he was not my only focus.  I never would have had the time to go on research trips, study, cook so many different diets, reach out to other moms, experts and doctors (let alone the cost) if we’d had another child.

I read the comments to the article on Facebook (where nothing good ever happens) and was sad at how much judgement there still was for a fast growing population of kids.  According to the article 22% of women who had kids only had one.  During our presidential studies we recently read a few books about Franklin Delano Roosevelt and his being an only child featured prominently into his story, and this man born to extreme privilege and indulgence did some pretty great things for the least among us, and I told Gage that we only kids should aspire to such great things.  #Putman2048

Over the years I’ve tried variations of ‘mom school’, but for the most part let it go by the wayside when he started 1st grade over a year ago.  Too much school work and way too many activities. But, well, mom school was never really about hard learning.  It was more for fun time spent learning together – usually both of us.  I like teaching and connecting and learning with my son and decided to bring back mom school.

In December (when we had time) we did 5-10 minutes learning about kids who did amazing things and it was fun.  But with the new year we started something with a little more stretch.  We are spending 5-15 minutes a day to study each President in order.  The first four are pretty easy since big things were happening.  I don’t know how it will hold up over the next 41 (and the 45th? it will take all of the diplomacy this Libra possesses).

So, my goal was to read a book and then choose one thing that we could do.  Jason and I visited Mount Vernon last month and I picked up a book of paper dolls.  It took me more time to cut out George and his stepson and all of their clothes than we actually used them, so not sure that was a win for me, but they are cool.  For John Adams we had a 10 minute drawing contest to see who could draw the best picture of the first White House and then we called Jason in to see who did the best.  I was robbed.  For Thomas Jefferson we read through the two picture books shown Thomas Jefferson Grows a Nation and Worst of Friends and then Gage traced from a photo America before Jefferson was President and after the Louisiana Purchase to see what a big deal it was.  James Madison’s book was okay and after we learned that the White House burned to the ground in 1812 Gage went to work burning down the White House he drew  two days earlier, lol.  We also watched a video on the story behind the Star Spangled Banner.

So, as you can see, we aren’t doing anything mentally strenuous here, but it’s nice that we can spend a few minutes together each day reinforcing that knowledge and learning are important.  I want him to remember that learning can be fun and so can his mom (when she wants to be ;)).

Two years ago Jason had a work conference in downtown Manhattan and Gage and I tagged along.  It was August and about 100 degrees every day we were there. Gage didn’t want to walk much.  It was not the best experience for this mama who loves New York City.

This year the work conference was in June at the Grand Central Station Hyatt and we decided to try again.  Of the 4 days we were there it was upper 90’s twice, but because Gage was more willing to walk and I planned a bit better the trip was much more successful. Gage loved the city, even though he did mention that it wasn’t really for kids.  We did manage to find a playground he liked in Hell’s Kitchen and it was only a 15 minute walk  through Times Square.  He made friends both times we went.

Being in midtown made it much easier to get to Central Park so that’s where I wanted to spend most of this trip since we had done most of the downtown area last time.  We visited The American Museum of Natural History, the Central Park Zoo as well as walking completely from one side of park to the other on the hottest day because I got completely turned around in the Rambles.  This is what poor Gage looked like by the time we got to the subway that day – dripping with sweat but still happy.

This is what he looked liked when we got on the completely packed train with nowhere to sit or move.

We visited a few churches, St. Bart’s and St. Patrick’s, both of which I’ve visited many times before, but wanted to share them with Gage.  We were even able to catch Mass at St. Patrick
We ate lunch at the library in Bryant Park, we walked through Grand Central Station multiple times a day and, for the first time, we parked in New Jersey and took the train into the city.  A fun experience for all three of us.

We did a lot of walking and I was proud of him.  I will say that my biggest complaint was staying at the Grand Hyatt.  We could not walk out of our hotel (even the just the lobby, really) without having a tight grip on our seven year old.  He was a champ and loved all of the people and I convinced him that we needed Daddy to find a job here for a year so we could do more exploring 🙂  No more than a year.

It was a great experience and this was a perfect age to introduce him to one of my favorite cities, two years ago was too soon.  Even though he had fun when we asked him his favorite part of our trip he chose the day before we got to New York where we stopped at Hershey Park in Pennsylvania.  We happened to be there the same day that my cousin from Maryland was there with her family and we were able to meet up briefly. I know he chose the Park because of all the roller coasters he was able to ride now that he’s 48 inches, but I like to believe that seeing family had a little something to do with it!

What if I fall?

Oh but my darling

What if you fly?

This week The Center for Life Skills posted this picture on their Facebook page. The butterfly wings are made up of paper plates that the kids decorated.  When Gage was diagnosed with PDD-nos when he was two the very first therapy he did was here with the occupational therapist he still sees.  It’s such a warm and inviting place and we have made lasting friendships with other families in the waiting room.  Now that Gage is seven he has less interventions, but the needs are changing and so must my strategy.

I was happy to see this when they posted it and I shared in on Facebook and went about my morning.  I came back a few hours later and read the comments and then looked at the picture again, read the words again, and started to cry.  Not heaving sobs, but tears and the question, “how do I make you fly?”  Every parent asks this at some point, I’m sure, but when your kid has special needs it makes the question more challenging because the answers may not easily be found.  Yesterday at the grocery store I frequent, one of the ladies asked me about Gage and we started talking about her son.  It turns out that he has sensory issues and sees an OT and she had no idea that he might be eligible for money from the state for private education.  She asked me as I was leaving, “How do you know all this stuff?” I wanted to hug her because that is where the fear lies.  What if there is something that can make a difference that I haven’t discovered yet?  So, I keep reading, and scheduling and trying new things, but in truth, it’s the other mothers that have shown me the way.  So the most important thing I do is listen and ask an annoying amount of questions and hope that is enough.

Gage is doing great, but I want him to soar.