Sundays with my only kid Gage

I read this article from the Washington Post yesterday and thought I’d weigh in as an only with an only.  Growing up there were times I wanted a sibling, but I rather liked my childhood and didn’t feel like I missed out on anything.  Sometimes I felt like the house was too quiet, but you don’t need a big family to fill a house with laughter.  There are times Gage tells me I need to have a brother for him (never a sister) and I do sometimes wish that was in the cards, but it’s not.  Honestly, I don’t understand the stigma attached to only children.

While families with siblings manage relationships among the siblings, we go out and forge relationships with other families, often with those that have only one kid.  Not because that’s important, but because it’s practical.  A few weeks ago we took a four day vacation with another family of three and the boys (who have already been friends for years) had a great time.  Gage and I rode with the family for the one and a half hour trip there and the boys had a blast (so much so that they carpooled with Jason to science center camp this week).  We all had a great time.

Both of these boys had challenges when they were younger and neither one would be where he is now if there had been siblings to look after also.  What I’ve been able to do for Gage health-wise never would have happened if he was not my only focus.  I never would have had the time to go on research trips, study, cook so many different diets, reach out to other moms, experts and doctors (let alone the cost) if we’d had another child.

I read the comments to the article on Facebook (where nothing good ever happens) and was sad at how much judgement there still was for a fast growing population of kids.  According to the article 22% of women who had kids only had one.  During our presidential studies we recently read a few books about Franklin Delano Roosevelt and his being an only child featured prominently into his story, and this man born to extreme privilege and indulgence did some pretty great things for the least among us, and I told Gage that we only kids should aspire to such great things.  #Putman2048

8 thoughts on “Sundays with my only kid Gage

  1. Lloyd Russell says:

    Good post, Stacy. It makes those of us with siblings think a bit. My wife is an only child. She has provided me with a different perspective.

    Lloyd (408) 348-4849

  2. BermudaOnion says:

    I have an only child and so does my sister. I’ve asked both of them if it ever bothered them or if they’d ever wished for a sibling and they both said no. They’ve always been close and Vance has always had a lot of friends.

  3. Kay says:

    I haven’t read the article yet, but I also had an only child, a daughter. There were likely good and bad things about that. I didn’t intend to only have one, but that’s how it worked out. She married a guy with 2 brothers and a sister and so that family is big and they have helped her understand sibling dynamics. One thing I will say is that my only was always comfortable with adults. She was the only grandchild on my husband’s side for over 10 years and the 2nd on my side. She was close to all her grandparents. She and her husband are likely not going to have children (which is a whole other thing and still ‘frowned upon’). So, we’ll probably not have grandchildren. We are a bit sad about that, but we don’t nag her about it. It’s their choice. Nice pictures of your time with the other family on vacation!

    • stacybuckeye says:

      Thank you for pointing out the most stigmatized group of people – the childless. It does seem that so many in their 20s and 30s these days (at least in my family) are choosing not to have kids. It was late 30s before I gave my parents a grandchild and I’m pretty sure they had given up hope, so you never know.

  4. Mary says:

    I don’t understand people who feel the need to criticize choices that don’t impact them (comment sections on any social media platform make me sad for the future of civilization).
    I love this post and appreciate the time you took to write it. Your perspective is important for others to understand. I think you and your husband are outstanding parents and Gage is an amazing boy.

    • stacybuckeye says:

      Yes! So many people so many opinions. We went and saw Dear Evan Hanson last night and Jason and I talked a lot after about how we wouldn’t want to be teens in school in the age of social media.

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