Sundays with Gage- Mothering is hard

Much like the black eye that Gage got at My Gym this week, being a mother also comes with some bruising.  I am a relatively cheerful person and like I said in yesterday’s post I don’t like airing dirty laundry.  I think putting a positive face on most anything will make you happier.  But, as I started reading the very funny book, I was a Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids, I felt such a release and lightening of my mothering load.  See, mothering is hard.  And the dirty little secret of the book is that we are not always happy, fulfilled or holding it all together.  And if I say this it doesn’t mean that I don’t love my son.

The first year of being a mother was the hardest thing I’ve ever done (as a friend told me at lunch on Friday, Gage put me through the ringer) and I wouldn’t trade it.  It stretched me further than I thought possible and I didn’t break.  I’m stronger and tougher for it.  But, in all honesty, I didn’t always love it.  I always loved Gage, but not my life.

But with distance comes perspective and with time comes competence and here we are at 14 months and life is pretty good.  But the thing that I’m starting to realize is that being a mother (at least for me) isn’t the whole picture, it’s a large piece of the puzzle.  I had grand expectations before giving birth, like all mothers do I’m sure, and the reality to this point has been nowhere close to my vision.  So, with distance also comes a reassessing of expectations as reality hits me in the face.

I’m sure that I will gush about this book after I’m done, but it already makes me feel freer to accept that feeling overwhelmed and having less than positive thoughts does not make me a bad mother.  I mentioned it was funny, right?  If you have a friend (or it’s you) who needs to feel like there are other less than perfect moms out there I think this would be a great recommendation (keep in mind I’m only 30 or so pages in).  I Was a Really Good Mom Before I had Kids by Ashworth & Nobile.

Next week I’ll be back to my regularly scheduled lovefest with Gage 🙂

Thrity Umrigar- signed book giveaway

Next Tuesday, local professor and acclaimed author, Thrity Umrigar (The Space Between Us, The Weight of Heaven) will be visiting our local Barnes & Noble to talk and sign copies of her latest book, The World We Found.  Bonnie (Redlady’s Reading Room) and I plan on meeting there for the event.

To celebrate a new year (on Saturday Stacy’s Books will be starting year 5!) I’m going to have a copy signed for one lucky blog reader.  I’ll have Gage draw a name on Tuesday before I go so that it can be personalized for the winner.

How to enter-

1 entry – leave a comment with your email address

1 entry – participate in my weekly quiz (Writers Lost in 2011) No need to tell me, I have your names.

1 entry – tweet about it (and let me know)

Deadline to enter- January 10th at noon.  Good luck 🙂

Free Books for January – new rules

Every month for the past 3 years I’ve given away 3-4 books a month from my boxes/shelves and they’ve always gone to he first commenter.  This year I’m going to try something just a bit different.  If you want the book, let me know by a comment and at midnight tonight if more than one person wants the same book I’ll draw a name out of a hat.

After a day, it’s first come, first booked!

1 & 2 Cherry Ames, The Mystery of Rogue’s Cave & The Case of the Forgetful Patient by Helen Wells.  These mysteries (originally published in 1959,1960) are in decent shape.  There is a whole series and it looks like there are still fans since they are selling boxed sets!  Both are 180 pages.  for Kim (Gage chose the 3 puzzle piece over the 1.  Very scientific)

3 The Theban Plays by Sophocles. This was a college book so there are a few notes inside, but you can just consider them helpful hints.  Includes the stories Oedipus and Antigone.  168 pages.

4 My Antonia by Willa Cather.  I just reviewed this classic here. It’s in good shape.  for Harvee

Obviously I was feeling very obscure this month.  Why not ring  in the New Year with books written a really long time ago, LOL!

Happy Reading!

My Antonia, by Willa Cather

My Antonia (Barnes & Noble Classics Series)Finished 12-30-11, rating 3/5, classic fiction, 266 pages, pub. 1918

“I came to ask you something, Tony.  Grandmother wants to know if you can’t go to the term of school that begins next week over at the sod schoolhouse.  She says there’s a good teacher, and you’d learn a lot.”

Antonia stood up, lifting and dropping her shoulders as if they were stiff.  “I ain’t got time to learn.  I can work like mans now.  My mother can’t say no more how Ambrosch do all and nobody to help him.  I can work as much as him.  School is all right for little boys.  I help make this land one good farm.”

Chapter 17

Let me start by saying that we listened to the first half of this in the car on our holiday travels, but I could not make Jason listen to more.  He hated it.  He told me there was a good chance of him falling asleep while driving if we listened to more.  I had to agree that the audio wasn’t good.  The Bohemian accents were laughable to me and really ruined Antonia.  And it was fairly boring on the Nebraska farm.

Once home, I picked up the book and finished.  I am happy to report that it got better for me.  Jim, the narrator, who had crushed on Antonia since he was a boy on the farm moved to town with his grandparents and Antonia soon followed him, working at the house next door.  Their friendship had its ups and downs, but remained the dominant relationship in Jim’s life even decades later.

This is a great study of early Nebraska and the people who settled there, many foreigners who didn’t understand the land, the language, or the people. Foreigners like Antonia and her family.   Life working the land was hard and it could make people mean, but not Jim’s grandparents.  Jim went there to live with them after his mom and dad died back in Virginia and was blessed with a relatively easy life compared to some.

I thought this was alternately boring and interesting.  Just when something interesting would capture my interest it would be followed by pages of details that didn’t move the story along for me.  I think it’s a good study of one Nebraska farm girl’s life, but it may have been more compelling told from her point of view so that she was not just seen on the fringes of Jim’s life.

I would rate the first half/audio a 2 and the second half/paper a 3.5.  I read this for the states challenge and I do feel like I’ve been there.

This was from my personal library.

My 2011 Book and Movie Favorites

I read 76 books this year and these are my favorites (only 2 of them were published this year)…

Cover ImageGood Grief by Lolly WinstonCover ImageRoots by Alex Hailey

The Chosen OneThe Chosen One by Carol Lynch WilliamsBig Stone GapBig Stone Gap by Adriana Trigiani

Husband and WifeHusband and Wife by Leah StewartLive Wire (Myron Bolitar Series #10) by Harlan Coben: Book CoverLive Wire by Harlan Coben

The Missing Ink (Tattoo Shop Series #1)The Missing Ink by Karen OlsonBuried Prey (Lucas Davenport Series #21)Buried Prey by John Sandford

A Room with a View and Howards EndA Room With a View by EM ForsterHeartsick (Gretchen Lowell Series #1) by Chelsea Cain: Book CoverHeart Sick by Chelsea Cain

 

I watched 44 movies this year and these are the ones I feel good about recommending…

Bridesmaids (2011) A

The Help (2011) A

Sherlock Holmes:A Game of Shadows (2011) A-

Horrible Bosses (2011) B+

Gidget (1959) B+

Inside Man (2006) B+

Holes (2003) B+

Definitely, Maybe (2008) B+

Desk Set (1957) B+

Strangers on a Train (1951) B+

The Kids Are All Right (2010) B+

In April I asked that you all participate in my 5 word reviews by adding 5 words of your own.  For each review posted I would contribute $1 to charity.  When we reach $100 the person who contributed the most reviews would get to choose the charity.  Well, we are up to $99 and I’d like to get that check out!  So, please contribute your reviews (list here).  Since I’ve still got the holiday spirit I’ll keep contributing $1 for a week, even if we go over $100.

My Personal Best: Life Lessons from an All-American Journey, by John Wooden with Steve Jamison

My Personal Best: Life Lessons from an All-American JourneyFinished 12-26-11, rating 4.5/5, non-fiction, 202 pages, pub. 2004

Never lie

Never cheat

Never steal

Don’t whine

Don’t complain

Don’t make excuses

Joshua Hugh Wooden’s “two sets of threes” to live by (John Wooden’s father)

John Wooden, a basketball coaching legend, won 10 national championships in his 27 years at UCLA, but it was his honest and positive approach to life that won him a multitude of fans.  This book chronicles some of the biggest moments of his life and how they influenced him, from his father reading poetry to he and his brothers to the death of his beloved Nell in 1985.  He loved his family, respected others, and was always striving for success, on the court and off.

Jason and I read this aloud to each other for a few minutes each night as Gage listened or played, a perfect book for it.  I hope that Jason will read this with Gage when he gets older.  Wooden is role model because of the way he lived his life.  He had success after success and yet he was always trying to learn lessons from perceived failings.  It was so refreshing to read about someone considered the best in their field who was also just a decent human being. He was 99 when he died in 2010.

The book had lots of pictures and lots of basketball talk and is a perfect read for fathers & sons. 

This book was from my personal library.

Six White Horses, by Janet Dailey

Six White Horses: Oklahoma (Americana Series)Finished 12-26-11, rating 2.75/5, romance, 186 pages, pub. 1977

Patty is a trick rider in the rodeo. She travels with her grandfather who helps her handle and train the six white horses Patty uses for her show.  The owner of the rodeo , Morgan Kincaid is overbearing and opinionated and clashes constantly with Patty.  The animosity is hiding a powerful attraction and Patty is the last to realize that not all fighting is bad. 

I rolled my eyes through the first half of the book, but once they arrived in Oklahoma and I learned a little more about the rodeo circuit and the history of Oklahoma I actually enjoyed the story.  Did you know that Oklahoma City is the only state capital with an oil well underneath?  Makes sense, but I didn’t know it.  So, it was melodramatic, but the small historical details made it tolerable.

Okay, this is the last of these small romances that I’ll be reading and complaining about, but I needed a romance and one from Oklahoma, and this one fit the bill.

I had this book in my personal library.

A Christmas Blizzard, by Garrison Keillor

A Christmas Blizzard: A NovelFinished 12-24-11, rating 3.5/5, fiction, 180 pages. pub. 2011

Don’t  you feel it?  Christmas is the force field of heightened possibility.  It’s not about religion, those myths we were brought up with are only tools to direct us toward the mystery of the under self.  It’s about the ecstatic visualization of psychic world is calling us toward balanced consciousness.  Don’t you feel that?  There is a lightness and spontaneity that is struggling to get through all the commercial static and leads us out of our linear consciousness into a global wholeness, don’t you?”

Chapter 17

James Sparrow is a very rich man with a pump handle obsession who hates Christmas.  His wife, Joyce (James & Joyce, cute right?) is a graceful woman who loves all things Christmas and would celebrate all year long if she could.  James is preparing to fly to Hawaii for the holiday when he receives a call from his cousin in North Dakota that his Uncle Earl is dying.  Seeing that Uncle Earl was the only good thing about his childhood, James charters his private jet to Looseleaf for a quick visit before continuing on to the warm beaches of Hawaii.  Only the spiritual powers in North Dakota have conspired to ground this modern day Scrooge until he learns to make peace with Christmas.

Once I looked at this book as a modern take on A Christmas Carol I enjoyed it much more.  At first the talking wolf and dream sequences put me off a bit when I was expecting a nice, sweet holiday read.  I’ve never read Keillor so I didn’t know what to expect and while I enjoyed this holiday story I won’t be rushing out to read more.

Checked this book out of the library.

 

 

Black Hills, by Nora Roberts

Black HillsFinished audio 12-21-11, rating 3/5, romantic suspense, pub. 2009

Listened to the playaway narrated by Nick Podehl.  17 hours unabridged.

Lil and Cooper were best friends.  He spent his summers in South Dakota with grandparents and Lil was a local girl and the two of them managed to keep their friendship going through their early twenties.  At that point hormones and pride got in the way and they became distant.  A dozen years later Cooper has returned to South Dakota for good and Lil is there running her rescue habitat in the Black Hills.  It doesn’t take long for the two to reconnect, especially after a serial killer seems to have his eyes set on Lil.

I read Nora Roberts on occasion, in the almost 4 years I’ve had this blog this is the fourth Roberts’ book I’ve reviewed.  I usually like her stories but didn’t really care for this one.  There was no chemistry and the killer provided no mystery.  Lil was an okay character, but Chase wasn’t very charismatic.  They were kind of a boring couple.  It also could have been the 17 hours of listening that bored me.  I did like Lil’s rescue habitat.  I visited one we have in Ohio (post here) and think they are necessary places and labors of love, so that part of the story was interesting.

 

Skipping a Beat, by Sarah Pekkanen

Skipping a BeatFinished 12-19-11, rating 4/5, fiction, 323 pages, pub.2011

Michael and Julia had a marriage that started with love and turned into indifference.  They had started out West Virginia poor, but ended up Washington DC millionaires.  When Michael died for four minutes his whole life turned on its head.  Now, he wanted a real relationship with Julia and she wasn’t sold on the idea, but that wasn’t Julia’s biggest problem.  Michael wanted to give away everything.  He wanted to make amends for the years of lying and neglect his power had caused.

The premise is fascinating.  I love books about marriages because each one is complex, unique.  This was no exception.  The chilliness in the marriage happened over time and it is only after a gradual reveal of their past that I totally got them as a couple. I thought the timing of the story and the way that it went from past to present was perfect.

In this story Michael wants to give everything away and Julia has fallen in love with all the amenities of the rich.  I get Julia not wanting to give up heated tiles or a jacuzzi, (who would once you had them?) but her repeated rejection of Michael got to be too much for me.  She was not a nice person and even when I read her backstory I never really got past the problem of her superficiality.  She made progress and grew as a person and the end of the book could have helped me feel better about her growth, but I think it was a cop out in that regard. The complexity of the book was lost in the sad, but pat, conclusion.

It may see that I didn’t like it and that’s not true.  It’s just that the distance I felt from Julia kept the whole story at arm’s length for me.  I loved Julia’s friend, Isabelle and was really invested in her story more than Julia’s.  Even with my complaints I still shed a tear, which I found surprising, so I must have been at least somewhat invested!   I think I’m in the minority for not loving this one.  A good read for fans of stories about complex relationships.

I checked this out of the library.