Category: 2 1/2 Stars or Less

A Useful Affair, by Stella Cameron

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Cover ImageFinished 8-24-09, rating 2.5/5, historical romance, pub.2004

“You are extraordinary,” he said as if he hadn’t heard a word she said.  “I have never seen hair quite the color of yours.  Not red, not brown, not blond.  Amazing.”

Hattie bent over her paint box.  What would such a man see in her?  And why would he go out of his way to flatter her when he could have almost any woman he fancied.  And he knew she was married!  Unless he had an ulterior motive…Surely not.

Chapter 3

John Elliot, the Marquis of Granville, escaped from being murdered at sea and managed to also save his small cousin, although not her parents.  As the two escape to Bath John plans revenge against Bernard Leggit by having a very public affair with Bernard’s wife, Hattie.  Hattie is is 40 years younger than Bernard and was forced to marry him to save her parents and she thinks an affair with John might suit her purposes as well.  The two do not count on falling for each other or how dangerous and twisted Bernard really is.

I did not care for this historical romance even though I picked it off my shelf because I was in the mood to be swept away and off my feet.  I did not like or feel any sympathy for John or Hattie.  They were cold fish to me and I never did warm up to them.  There were a lot of characters in the book and there was quite a bit going on, but I was bored.  I almost gave up on it a hundred pages in, but I have a hard time doing that.  I will say that my reading pace picked up not because I couldn’t wait to get to the next page, but because I couldn’t wait to get to the last page. 

Now that I’ve bashed it I can say that it earned a 2.5 because the plot was decent and I liked the secondary character, Snowflake.  The insipid writing (see quote I chose) dragged the plot down but I did want to know what happened and there was one secondary plot that was a payoff in the end.

Throw Out Fifty Things, by Gail Blanke

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Cover ImageFinished 5-31-09, rating 2.5/5, organization/self-help, pub. 2009

Because you’re free and clear now, because you know who you are and what you stand for, because your energy and spirit are renewed, because you have gifts to give and the courage to give them, it’s time to make your declaration to the world.  It’s time for you to come forward, without waiting to be invited, and state your purpose.

Chapter 25

The subtitle of this book is Clear the Clutter, Find Your Life.  The author goes through your house, room by room, and tells you where and how to find things that can be thrown away, given away or sold.  Emotions. positive and negative, can be linked to the stuff we keep and you want to keep only the stuff that brings you happiness and represents who you are right now.

The second half of the book all deals with the emotional clutter.  Letting go of regrets, letting go of thinking the worst, and letting go of the need to feel secure are just a few of the kinds of chapters you’ll find.  They are filled with stories of people who the author has helped.  And there are lots of stories.

From the title of the book and the fact that I found it in the organization section of the library I was expecting something different that what I got.  The early sections that dealt with actual, physical things was good, even if maybe there were a few too many stories.  I liked the some of the tips and found them helpful.  But the second half was a complete self-help book urging you to change yourself for the better.  Needless to say this optimistic cheerleading was not why I was reading the book and I didn’t like it at all.  It’s almost like she ran out of actual organization ideas and decided to make the second half a motivational speech.

There are many organization books out there better than this one.  If you are looking to change your life then maybe you will enjoy this book more than I did.

Since there are lots of book lovers out there I am going to include one thing from the book I really appreciated.  www.booksforsoldiers.com is a way for you to clear out old books and ship them to the men and women protecting our country.  I haven’t done it yet, but plan on seeing what I can do in the near future.  You should check it out too.

 

Storm Rider, by Cassie Edwards

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Cover ImageFinished 4-22-09, rating 2/5, romance, pub. 2002

Storm Rider was that man!

Soon the Snake’s evil deeds would be a thing of the past.  Then, and only then, could Storm Rider think of other things…most important, having a woman in his blankets to love, to cherish.

And then there would be children!

Chapter 2

Tabitha Daniel became Talking Rain the day her parents were killed and she was taken in by the Chief of the Crow tribe.  She was accepted as a member of the tribe, even though her blonde beauty and independent spirit set her apart.  Then Chief Storm Rider shows up wanted to reach a compromise with the Crows and Talking Rain finds herself drawn to him.    When a stunt goes too far Talking Rain finds herself a captive of Storm Rider and she is at his mercy. 

I found the story melodramatic and the writing tedious.  They were obssessed with one another at the very first look and there were pages and pages filled with alternating lustful and resisting thoughts and feelings without any real action.  And, while  I love a good exclamation point ! there were so many that it was distracting.  (Have you ever watched the Seinfeld episode where Elaine edited a book and used an ! every other sentence?  Then you know what I’m talking about.)

Cassie Edwards is a New York Times Bestselling Author, so I have to think I just read one of her less successful titles.  I don’t think I’d read another by her, but if you have a favorite, leave a comment.

Pot of Gold, by Judith Michael

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Cover ImageFinished 4-14-09, rating 2.5/5, fiction, pub. 1993

“Claire won the lottery on a Wednesday afternoon in May, the same afternoon that Emma graduated from high school, the dog ran away, and the land lord raised the rent.”

first line of book

Claire Goddard, a woman in her mid 30’s, has a job she likes, a daughter she loves, and a friend as close as a sister.  Then her weekly lottery ticket is a winner.  Sixty Million Dollars!  She quits her job, buys a million dollar home within minutes of seeing it, takes in an old woman claiming to be an aunt (or cousin), and begins spending her winnings at a fast pace.  On a celebratory cruise to Alaska Claire and her daughter, Emma, fall prey to the charms of Quintin and Brix Eiger.  Suddenly Emma wants to skip college and become a model for the Eiger’s cosmetic company and win the heart of Brix.  And Claire finds herself in the inner circle of the wealthy in the arms of Quintin.

Winning $60 million in the lottery could be the ultimate American dream.  And Claire spends it fast and furious like most lottery winners, which is fine except she never really seemed to grasp the absurdity of her decisions.  One her first decisions was letting a homeless woman con her way into her home and life.  And when given the option of going anywhere in the world, money is obviously not an issue, she chooses an Alaskan cruise.  Nothing against Alaska, I’d like to take a cruise there someday myself, but given the extravagance of her monetary spending it was a very odd choice. 

I found it a little boring.  I must confess if I had accidentally left this on the plane with a few hundred pages left I wouldn’t have been upset.  I did not connect with any of the characters.  Claire was nice enough, but lacked wit or a sharp intelligence.  And the point of view changed often with no notice or obvious reason.  I really wanted to like it more, but I didn’t.  But I wouldn’t mind winning $60 million in the lottery.  Even though I’ve never purchased a lottery ticket.

Skipping Christmas, by John Grisham

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Cover ImageFinished 4-8-09, rating 2.5/5, fiction. pub. 2001

“What’s the catch?”

“The catch is simple.  We don’t do Christmas.  We save the money, spend it on ourselves for once.  Not a dime on food we won’t eat or clothes we won’t wear or gifts no one needs.  Not one red cent.  It’s a boycott, Nora, a complete boycott of Christmas.”

“Sounds awful.”

Chapter 2

Well, in my opinion this slim novel was pretty awful.  I loved the premise and even enjoyed some of the uncomfortable situations Luther and Nora found themselves in, but I really did not care for how the story wrapped up.  I guess I’m not sure I get the point.

Luther added up all the money they had spent on Christmas the year before and decided that since their only child, Blair, would be gone for the holidays that they could put all that money to better use.  They booked themselves a cruise, spent hours in the tanning bed, and looked through books and pamphlets in anticipation of their trip. 

The locals (neighbors, police, firemen, boy scouts, co-workers) were all appalled at this slight of Christmas.  None of these locals resembled real people and in the end did not redeem themselved in my eyes, although Grisham tries his best.

The idea could have been heartwarming or slapstick silly.  It didn’t really accomplish either.

I read this for a challenge and blame it for the 3 inches of snow we received while I read it 😉

 

Billy Budd, by Herman Melville

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Cover ImageFinished 3-4-09, rating 2/5, fiction, pub. 1924

Now there can exist no irritating juxtaposition of dissimilar personalities comparable to that which is possible aboard a great warship fully manned and at sea.  There, every day among all ranks, almost every man comes into more or less of contact with almost every other man.  Wholly there to avoid even the sight of an aggravating object one must needs give it Jonah’s toss or jump overboard himself.  Imagine how all this might eventually operate on some peculiar human creature the direct reverse of a saint!

Chapter 11

Billy Budd, called the Handsome Sailor because of his unmatched good looks, is an innocent soul on a warship full of hard men in the late 1790’s.  Through his genial and sunny disposition he wins them over, except for one.  John Claggart, the master-at-arms, showed Billy his smile, but secretly hated him.  This hate, born out of jealousy, would lead him to do an unthinkable thing to Billy and therefore seal his own fate.  Captain Vere, for his part in the story, tried to be fair, but even he was outsmarted by circumstance.

The story itself was good, but it was wrapped up in 114 pages of a hard to read draft.  This book was not published during Melville’s lifetime, and it did not see print until he had been dead for over 30 years.  The only other Melville work I’ve read is the short story Bartleby the Scrivener and I remember enjoying it.  Maybe I would have enjoyed this if it had been shortened.  Or maybe I just don’t appreciate Melville.  I almost gave up around page 10, but thought I could suffer through 114 pages.  I will remember the story itself, but do not plan on reading  more of Melville.

Second Nature, by Alice Hoffman

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Cover ImageFinished 1-23-09, 2/5, fiction, pub. 1994

There was the faint possibility that Roy was right, that she’d become so intent on having things her way she’d stopped thinking altogether, driven by something as untrustworthy as pure emotion.  She now had, after all, a man in her kitchen who could easily murder her and sneak out the back door without leaving any footprints behind.

Chapter 2

Robin is an almost divorced mother of a teen son.  The Wolf Man had been living with the wolves in northern Michigan since he was three and was found later, as an adult, wounded by two hunters.  The Wolf Man, eventually known as Stephen, refuses to talk to the medical doctors and he is locked up in mental hospitals until Robin comes along and rescues him.  She whisks him away to her home in suburbia and plans to teach Stephen what he needs to know to blend into society and someday make his way back to Michigan.

I could not get past the ridiculous premise to completely enjoy the characters in the story.  A wolf/man who has lived with a wolf pack from the age of 3 1/2 with no human interaction, can read, write, hold conversations with strangers, and begin an affair all within the span of a few months?  There were many other storylines—Robin’s divorce, Connor’s first love, an aging parent’s declining health, and a brother’s nervous breakdown–that were all interesting and engaging, yet the wolf man was always there to remind me how outrageous it all was.  His character kept pulling me out of the story.  That being said, I did like other characters and the true emotions of love, loyalty, and betrayal.

I’ve read other Alice Hoffman titles I liked, but this was a complete miss for me.

Naked Came the Manatee, Carl Hiaasen editor

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Cover ImageFinished 1-17-09, rating 2.5/5, fiction, pub. 1996

This novel is a serial collaborataion of 13 of South Florida’s best writers and was originally written for The Miami Herald’s Tropic magazine.  David Barry writes the first chapter, passes it off to Les Standiford, Paul Levine, Edna Buchanan, James W. Hall, Carolina Hospital, Evelyn Mayerson, Tananarive Due, Brian Antoni, Vicki Hendricks, John Dufresne, Elmore Leonard, and Carl Hiaasen plays clean up in the last chapter.  A few of the authors’ serial characters show up- Buchanan’s Britt Montero, Standiford’s John Deal, and Levine’s Jake Lassiter.

A 102 year old woman rescues a man from the bay and he is in possession of a canister with shocking contents.  The canister is one of a pair, both containing the head of Fidel Castro.  There are chases, murders, confusion, and a multitude of characters, including Jimmy Carter and Fidel Castro.  And there is a very introspective manatee in the bay named Booger, who thinks of the 102 year old grandmother as his ‘ma’. 

This is an interesting experiment, but it is a hot mess of a novel.  There are characters that move in and out of the story with little or no explanation, each author wanting to add something new instead of trying to build on what’s there.  The last chapter where Carl Hiaasen tries to explain everything is pretty funny considering what he had to work with.  It was wacky in a good way, but it was probably best suited to it’s original form, as a weekly magazine installment.

Outtakes from a Marriage, Ann Leary

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Cover ImageFinished 1-1-09, rating 2.5/5, fiction, pub. 2008

Julia has just found out that Joe, her Golden Globe nominated husband of many years, is cheating on her.  She decides not to confront him (she knows he is a good liar) and goes about her daily life taking care of her two kids, teenager Ruby and preschooler Sammy.  She becomes obsessed with checking Joe’s cell messages and listening to the woman’s sexy voice repeatedly, looking for the owner of that voice in Joe’s life.  She surprises him on set and lurks on the celebrity websites spreading lies about her clueless husband.  When the time for confrontation comes the fallout begins with the Golden Globe ceremony as a backdrop.

I was prepared to enjoy it based on the good reviews on other blogs, but I didn’t.  I never connected with Julia and the only time I really liked her was when she interacted with Mr. Mom because she showed some depth.  I understand that this was the point being made, that she lost herself in the marriage, but there was so little spark to the character that I was bored with her botox, hair extensions, and recollections of better times with Joe.  There was no real sense that the story was going anywhere and the end proved that true, in my opinion.

The one thing I thought was fun was Julia’s dad identifying a person’s character by his or her first name.  Neds are thoughtful, Jakes sly, Davids smart, and Jacks funny.  Joes, she learned from her father, are a handful. 

I woudn’t recommend this book, but it has received good reviews elsewhere.

Mistletoe & Holly, by Janet Dailey

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Cover ImageFinished 11-24-08, rating 2.5/5, romance, pub. 1982

“It isn’t that I don’t like Christmas,” she tried to qualify her aversion to the season.  “It’s all the fuss that goes along with it.  It’s the decorations and the gift-giving and all the meaningless things that go along with them.  Too many people are making too much money off a day that’s supposed to be a religious holiday.  I guess I believe the meaning of Christmas has become lost under the fancy foil wrappings and bright ribbons.”            -Chapter 4

Leslie has a broken leg, a dislike for the Christmas season, and an aunt who will take her into her Vermont home while Leslie heals.  Her aunt Patsy’s new neighbors are a handsome man and his daughter who draw Leslie into the holiday spirit even as she tries to fight off the jolly pair.  Taggert and Holly include Leslie in their family and hope that she will want to stick around permanently.

I remember reading Janet Dailey in junior high and high school.  She wrote a romance for each of the states and I tried to collect them all.  I picked this up at a used book sale for 25 cents thinking I’d take a trip down memory lane.  I guess, as with many things I read when I was in junior high, it didn’t really hold up all that well.  I thought the writing was pretty bad at the beginning, but once I was drawn into the sweet story I didn’t think it was distractingly bad.  The story was charming, but as with most short romances it wasn’t a fulfilling read.