How Do I Say Goodbye by Dean Lewis made me cry when I heard it the first time. It also hits a little harder now. My dad died suddenly a week before Thanksgiving. I’ve always called him an energizer bunny or said he had nine lives, but at 78 his time came. He was my protector, provider, and role model growing up. He was loud, a jokester, and always lending a helping hand. He took me on trips, accepted my friends as family, and showed me that book smart wasn’t the only kind there was. I hold that view of him while still seeing the complicated relationship we were in these past ten years. I’ve already felt levels of grief over the loss of who we were making this sudden end feel not quite real.

The holidays were spent on the road traveling home for Thanksgiving, Christmas, the Memorial, and a wedding. A busy time spent with family, the people who knew and loved him. It was exactly what we, my mom and Jason and Gage, needed. Now the quiet of January looms.